well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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