I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
