if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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