oh god the rape fog is back!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
try to milk me bitch
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
