Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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