i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
