I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
