Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
