There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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