hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
