i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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