he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize