We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
