he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
where are you?
Hypothermia
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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