And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize