Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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