Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
