So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
