Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
