she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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