yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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