the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
