you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
