You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
