Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
