How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
