Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
