TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
