TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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