He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
