Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize