Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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