all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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