TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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