so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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