there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
