Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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