He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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