I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
