Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
