I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
