I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
