how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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