would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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