Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
