I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
