is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize