Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
