..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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