I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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