YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Barsexuality is the new black.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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