btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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