my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
