I just saw a hot homeless man
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
be right there i have to get my cape
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
