Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
