if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have aggressive nipples.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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