Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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