Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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