Reggie can tackle my bush.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
