How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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