So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
